Classic Misprints...

[Saracenman]

two i remember well:

1. a report in a newspaper about a bank-robbery; apparently the robber was armed with a "loaded gnu"

2. when i worked at Gatwick, the airport rag (Gatwick News) had a report about a BA 747 that had been delayed due to pest-control being called out after a stewardess saw "a moose scurrying behind some panel-work"

anyone have any others?

sm

[Mayfly]

how about;-

local church trying to recruit new members for a choir asking "Do you like to sin in the shower"

and a policeman being described as "belonging to the defective branch"

[Saracenman]

[Wizzy]

A few (apparently) genuine newspaper adverts....

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
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Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
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Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
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Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
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Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it for you.
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Great Dames for sale.
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For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

[Mayfly]

love the last one

[Wizzy]

A few more...

The ladies of the Merry Oldsters enjoyed a swap social on Friday evening. Everybody brought along something they no longer needed. Many ladies brought their husbands with them.
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This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Brown to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.
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This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of this church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
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When your flowers begin to fade, stand in two inches of hot water
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The new lizard, 21 in. long, is said at the Zoo to be settling down well. It is described by a keeper as being as lively as the cricketers that are part of its favourite diet. (Lincolnshire Echo!)
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STRIP CLUBS SHOCK - Magistrates may act on indecent shows

[Saracenman]

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Brown to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.