Jokes (WARNING - may contain adult humour!)...

[Tom.com]

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

LMAO best so far

[Saracenman]

like it

[Mackrick]

Nice one..

[RLN]

Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

I'm sorry ladies, I couldn't help myself.

[Mayfly]

THWACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.............

looks like you're going to learn the hard way RLN & have been associating with SM too much

is funny tho

[Stevieboy]

Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

I'm sorry ladies, I couldn't help myself.

Until I see a picture of this I won't believe it.

[Tom.com]

Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

I'm sorry ladies, I couldn't help myself.

Dont they use a video recorder, slow it down 500 times, then get a still image?

[Saracenman]

don't be daft - after 'she' has finished with 'his' credit card, there's not enough left to afford a camcorder!

[Tom.com]

don't be daft - after 'she' has finished with 'his' credit card, there's not enough left to afford a camcorder!

not even a camera on his phone?

[Saracenman]

no 'phone either - she nicked it so as to yak yak yak all day to her friend, about her 'bargains' she'd just bought

[Mayfly]

you have read my sig haven't you SM

[MadNaddy]

THWACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.............

looks like you're going to learn the hard way RLN & have been associating with SM too much

is funny tho

Wonderful arm movement there Mayfly! Splendid!

[Mackrick]

Time to hide SM ...

[Saracenman]

too late mate - I'm black and blue already

[RLN]

Maybe this will redress the balance girls


When everyone on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, 'I want the men to make two lines.
One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St. Peter.'
Soon, the women were gone and there were two lines of men.
The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.

God said, 'You men should be ashamed of yourselves, I created you to be the head of your household!
'You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose!
'Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him.' God turned to the one man, 'How did you manage to be the only one in this line?'

The man replied, 'My wife told me to stand here.'

[Mayfly]

oh yes

[Saracenman]

[Mackrick]

[MadNaddy]

[RLN]

[Mayfly]

[RLN]

2008's First Christmas Joke

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolises Christmas to get into heaven.'

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow AND asked, 'And just what do those symbolise?'


The man replied, 'These are Carols.'

And So The Christmas Season
Begins......

[Saracenman]

[Mayfly]

[Tom.com]